Impossible & Unlikely
by LWDamon
Summary: Derek/Casey. "Derek Venturi doesn't love her. He doesn't love anyone. The only person Derek Venturi loves is himself. He wasn't jealous. That's not why he was angerly staring at the tv, not even knowing what was on. Thinking about all of this."


**oOoOoOoOo**

**I don't own Life With Derek.**

**Enjoy. [:**

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Derek Venturi is _many_ things. Arrogent. Cocky. Perverted. Vulgar. Thoughtless. Conceited. Self-Absorbed. Selfish. Obnoxious. Smug. Rude. Player. Slacker. Annoying. Difficult. Stubborn. Liar. An _all_ around _jerk_.

But the _one_ thing he _isn't_, is _jealous_. Derek Venturi was _not jealous_. _Never_ has he been _jealous_. And _never_ will he be _jealous_.

_Not_ when Kendra _constantly_ cheated on him. _Not_ when Sally was with Patrick. _Not_ when Sally was "_friends_" with Patrick.

_Not_ when Casey was with his _best friend_, _Sam_. When Sam _went_ for her when he told him _not to_, which he _definitely_ _didn't_ say because he was _jealous_. He _didn't_ do _everything_ to _prevent_ him from going out with her. He _didn't_ get into a _fist fight_ with him. He _didn't_ almost _lose_ his _best friend_ of _ten years_ because he was _jealous_. He _wasn't jealous_. He just _didn't_ want it to be _awkward_ when they _broke up_ because _eventually_, he knew they _would_ break up. _Nothing_ lasts _forever_. _That's_ why. _Not_ because he was _jealous_. Because he _wasn't_. _Not_ when they were _always_ _together_. _Not_ when his tongue was _always_ _down her throat_. _Not_ when he heard them _in bed together_. Not when Sam blew him off because of their "_monthiversary._"He _didn't care_.

_Not_ when Scott _cheated_ on Casey. He _did not_ tell her about it because he was _jealous_. He _didn't_ almost _kill_ him because he was _jealous_. He just _didn't like_ Scott.

_Not_ when Casey was _obsessed_ with _Max_. When he _always_ saw them _sharing spit_ in the halls. In _his_ house. _Hugging_. _Holding hands. Touching. Everything. Not_ when they _fought_ and she _cried_. _Not_ when they went to prom _together_. It _didn't_ bother him that he _knew_ what they _did_ at the prom, either. _Everyone_ knew. _Not_ when he _heard_ her _moaning_. _His_ name. _Not_ when she _introduced_ him to the _family_. _Not_ when she _thought_ she was _pregnant_. _Not_ when _she said she loved him_. _Never_ had he been _jealous_. He'd _never_ be _jealous_ of a _football_ player.

He _wasn't_ _jealous_ when Casey was _always_ with Noel, either. Or that Noel was _clearly_ _in love_ with Her. Not that she _could_ tell. She's _too_ sweet, innocent, and _naive_ to even _think_ of that. She just thought he was a _good friend._ _Cute, innocent_ and _sweet_. He was in the _drama_ club, _wrote poetry_ and _music_, played _guitar_. She just thought he was a _good guy_. A _sweet_ guy. _He_ thought he was a little _queer_. He just _wanted_ to _fuck_ her. _Not_ that _he'd care_ if he did because he _wasn't jealous_. _Especially_ of that _faggot_.

He was _not jealous_ when she was with _Truman_. He _hated_ Truman, but he was _not jealous_. He _wasn't jealous_ when he was about to _punch_ his face in when he _cheated_ on her with _Vicky_. He _wasn't jealous_ when he _heard her crying_. For _him_. He _wasn't_ mad when he rated her _6 1/2_. He _didn't_ think she deserved an _8,_ at the _least_. He _wasn't jealous_ of that cocky, arrogent, _bastard_. He _wasn't_. _Not_ when _heard_ them _fucking_. He _didn't_ hate it. He _didn't_ turn his music up as _loud_ as _possible_ so he _couldn't_ hear. He _didn't_ _care_ when she came in after, all _red_ and _sweaty_, with _sex hair_. He _didn't_ think it was _hot_. He _didn't_ want her _more_ then _ever_. He _wasn't disappointed_ that she was _fully_ dressed. Or that _Truman had her_. He _wasn't_ _hurt_ she slept with _someone other then him_. He _wasn't_.

He _wasn't_ _jealous_ of all the _moaning_. She just needs to learn to _tone it down_. Or the _crying_. He _wasn't jealous_ that she was _crying_ over _someone other then him._ She just _needs_ to _calm down_ with the _tears_ and _emotions_.

He _especially wasn't jealous_ that she _happened_ to be on a _date_ with that _peice of shit_, Truman, either. _Right now_.

He _didn't_ care. It _didn't_ bother him that she was on a date with _scum_. He _cheated_. He _lied_. He _ignored_ her. He _treated_ her like _shit_. And she _cried_, and _cried_, and _cried_. But she _always_ went _back_ to him. Derek _hated_ it. He _hated_ him. There were _so many_ times he _wanted_ to beat the _living shit _out of him. But he _couldn't_ do that. He _knew_ it. _Even_ if he _did_, Casey would _freak_. He _didn't_ care that they would be _kissing_, _making out_, or even _fucking_.

He _didn't_ care.

Derek was _not jealous_.

Derek Venturi does _a lot_ of things. Girls. Cheerleaders. Short skirts. Low shirts. Partie's. Drugs and Alcohol sometimes. Hockey.

But Derek _does not_ do Tears. School. He _does not_ do _Drama_. _Relationships_. He _especially_ doesn't do _love_.

He _doesn't_ do _tears_. _Never_ did. _Never_ will.

_Not_ when Kendra _cried_. _Not_ when Sally _cried_. _Not_ when Amy, Sam, Mandy, Debra, Amanda, Sandy, Katie, Emily or _any_ other girls _cried_.

_Especially_ _not_ when Casey _cried_. He _didn't_ feel bad when she _cried_. He _didn't_ want to _kill whoever hurt her_. _Usually_ him. He _didn't_ want to _kill himself_ when he _hurt_ her or put her in _pain_. It _didn't hurt_ when she _cried_. It _didn't break his heart_. It _didn't _bother him. _At all._

_Whenever_ Max _treated_ her like _shit_. Or when they _broke up_. _All_ those times. And she _cried_. He _didn't_ _care_.

He _didn't_ want to _punch_ Truman where it hurt the _most_ when they were at that party and she _cried_. He _cheated_ on her with her _cousin_. _Not_ when he _slept_ with _Brittany_. Or _Jenna_. Or _Jessica_. Or _Daniella_. Or _any_ of the _other_ girls. When he was _with_ her. And she _cried_. The _many_ times they _broke_ _up _and she _cried_. It _didn't even phase him_. Nope.

He _never_ _cared_. _Ever_.

School? _Never_. He's _not_ a _grade grubber_ like _Casey_. She has _perfect_ attendence. _Perfect_ grades. She writes in her _free time_ for _Christ's sakes_. She writes _poems_ for the school paper because a teacher _asks_ her too. A grade? _No_. Extra credit? _Guess again_. For fun? _Bingo_.

But the _main_ thing Derek Venturi _doesn't_ do is _love_. He _never_ did. All the emotions. _Jealous. Needy. Clingy. Fights. Drama. Marriage. One girl_ for the _rest_ of your _life_? _No thanks_.

Drama is _unnecessary_. There's _no_ need for it. She said you're a slut. She slept with him. He's going out with her. She stole my boyfriend. He dumped me. He doesn't like me. He cheated on me. Well, okay. _Get over it_. _No one_ cares. The only time he _cared_ about drama was when there would be _two girls_ in a _fight_. _That_ was _hot_.

Drama is just a _pain in the ass_.

Which is _exactly_ why Derek _doesn't do relationships_. He has a _new_ girl _every_ week. Half the time, he _doesn't_ even _have girlfriends_. He _hooks_ up. _Make's out_ with _random_ girls. _One night stands_. He _only_ had about _two real girlfriend's_. Sally and Kendra. They were _both fail's._ It just left him _hurt_. _Nothing _else.

_Relationship's_ are a _waste_ of _time_. _All_ they do is give you a _headache_, bring you _pain_, and _aggervation_. It's _not_ worth it. _Nothing_ is. _No_ girl is worth _that much._

Marriage is a _waste of time_. And _money_. _Why_ pay _that much_, _just_, to _ruin_ your _whole life_? _Why_ stay with _one girl_ your _whole_ life when you can have _as many_ as you _want_? _Stupid_. _Who_ would do _that_? Stupid, _pathetic_, _desperate_, dumb _shits_. It'll _all_ end in _pain_ and _divorce_.

_Most importantly_, Derek Venturi _does not_ do _love_. He _doesn't_ not fall in _love_. He _breaks_ hearts. He _doesn't_ get _his broken_. He _never_ _loved any_ girl before. And _never_ will.

He _didn't_ love Kendra. He _didn't_ love Sally. Or Alex, Courtney, Shannon, Kayla, Jackie, Cassandra, Caitlin, Angela. _Anyone_.

They _didn't_ hurt. They _didn't_ _break_ his _heart_. Sally and Kendra _hurt a little._ But he _got over it_. It _wasn't heartbreak_. It _didn't_ hurt _that_ much.

_No one_ _broke_ his heart. Derek Venturi _didn't_ love _anyone_. He _doesn't_ _do love_.

_Especially not_ with _Casey Mcdonald_. He _doesn't_ go to _great_ _extent_ to _protect_ her. He _didn't_ tell Truman to _fuck off_ when he _cheated_ on her. He _wouldn't_ _kill anyone_ for _hurting_ her. He _didn't_ plan out _every guy's_ _murder_ that _touched_ her. Or _hurt_ her. _Seeing_ her _cry_ _doesn't_ make him wanna _cry_. _Comfort_ her. _Hug_ her. _Tell_ her _everything's_ okay. _Kill whoever_ did _that_ to her. It _didn't_ piss him off. He _didn't_ try kicking Max or Truman's _ass_, _multiple_ times. He _doesn't_ wanna _cry_ or _die_ when he _sees_ her with _another guy_. It _doesn't_ bother him. He _isn't_ hurt when she _says_ she _hates_ him. He _doesn't_ want to _roll over_ and _die_. He _doesn't_ care. He's _not_ hurt when she _says_ she _loves_ all these _different guys_. He _wouldn't_ spend the _rest_ of his life with _her_. _He_ _doesn't_ _want her more then anything_. _She_ _doesn't_ _turn him on_. _Especially_ when she _dances, works out, _and _get's red with anger_. He _doesn't_ think she's _hot_ when she's _mad_. He _doesn't_ think she has an _amazing_ _body_. He _doesn't_ _constantly torment_ her because he _secretly_ _wants_ her. _Space. Case. Princess. Klutzilla. Grade Grubber_. He _didn't_ give her _all_ those _nicknames_ because he _liked_ her. He _doesn't_ think of _her_ when he's with _other_ girls. He _doesn't_ _accidently_ _say_ her _name_ when he's in _bed_ with _other_ girls. He _didn't_ go out with _Sally_ because she _reminded_ him so much of _Casey_. Because they were _exactly_ _alike_. They were _both_ _sweet, innocent, independent, cute, loving_. He _didn't_. He _doesn't_ think she's _beautiful_. He _doesn't_ get _lost_ in her _eye's_. They _don't_ _practically_ have _eye sex_. He _wouldn't_ _die_ for her. He _doesn't_ think about her _contantly_. He _wouldn't_ _die_ _without_ her. He _doesn't_ _love_ her. He _doesn't_.

_It_ _didn't_ _bother_ _him_ that she was on a _date_ with _Truman_, when _just_ _three days_ ago, he _kissed_ her and _told_ her how he _felt_ about her. It _didn't_ hurt that she _rejected_ him. He _didn't_ _care_ that she had been _completely avoiding_ him _ever since then_. Which was _pretty hard_ since they _shared_ an _apparentment_ ever since they started _college_ because they go to the _same_ one. _Suprising_, right? He got into the _same_ college as _little miss grade grubber_. She was _pretty upset_ about that for _a while. _She felt _stupid_. And wondered if she could _ever_ get _rid_ of him. But she _smiled_. She was _happy_ because she _knew_ she'd _miss_ him.

_Anyway_. He _wasn't_ _upset, jealous,_ or in _love._ He was _fine_ that she'd _rather_ have _Truman_, then _him_. That she _wouldn't_ leave that _asshole_ for _him_.

Because _Derek Venturi doesn't love_ her. He _doesn't_ love _anyone_. The _only_ person _Derek Venturi loves_ is _himself_.

And he was _not_ _jealous_. Of _anyone_.

Because _Derek_ and _love_ is _very unlikely_ and _impossible_. Because _Derek_ and _jealous_ is _very unlikely_ and _impossible_. Because _Derek_ and _Casey_ is _very_ _unlikely_ and _impossible_. Because _Dasey_ is _very unlikely_ and _impossible_. They _just don't mix_. He _doesn't_ _love anyone_. _Especially_ her.

_Derek Venturi doesn't love Casey McDonald._

And he _wasn't_ _jealous_. That's _not_ why he was _angerly_ _staring_ at the tv, _not_ even _knowing_ _what_ was _on_. Which was _Hannah Montana_. _Thinking_ about _all_ of _this_.

_Not at all_.

**oOoOoOoOo**

**... and we all agree with that? No? Didn't think so.**

**I wrote something along these lines months ago, but I think this turned out better. What do you think?**

**R&R. **

**;)**

**oOoOoOoOo**


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